Dungeons & Dragons & Novels: Revisiting Black Wizards

It’s been over two years since I reviewed Darkwalker on Moonshae, the fabulously titled first e book ever set in Dungeons & Dragons’ venerable Forgotten Realms marketing campaign setting. It’s been lower than per week since I learn the sequel, Black Wizards, however after I inform you I’ve forgotten practically all the things in regards to the e book since then, let me guarantee you: I forgot most of what occurred later that very same afternoon. 

Black Wizards is virtually a spell of forgetfulness unto itself. Somehow, the two-dimensional characters of Darkwalker on Moonshae have develop into one-dimensional dots; the various, many issues that lead as much as the ultimate battle are nearly totally meaningless; and whereas there are certainly Black Wizards within the e book, they’re no extra necessary than the Evil Cleric, the Robin Hood-type man, the Fish People, the Lady within the Lake Except It’s a Sea, the Murder God, and so forth., and so forth. Perhaps probably the most telling factor I can say is that this: tlisted below are seven Black Wizards, and I don’t suppose three of them have any dialogue in any respect. They simply sit in a wagon till a rogue Black Wizard units it on hearth and kills them.

If you recall (and also you completely don’t), Darkwalker on Moonshae ended with Prince Tristan Kendrick and his friends saving the Moonshae islands from a shapeshifting beast who assembled an enormous military of monsters and barbarians on behalf of Bhaal, the god of violence and homicide. Bhaal desires a rematch, and thus sends the titular Black Wizards to deprave/bamboozle the High King of the Moonshae Isles, and an evil druid to kill a bunch of non-evil druids, and a zombie military, and a bunch of evil fish-people referred to as Sahuagin, and a bunch of ogres to… kill everyone, I assume. He’s a god of homicide, in spite of everything.

Despite saving the realm from a military of evil marauders within the first e book, Tristan’s dad nonetheless thinks his son is a lazy piece of shit as a result of he isn’t curious about studying in regards to the administrative duties of being a king. This is an issue when the dad is murdered by a half-orc murderer named Razmatazz—er, Razfallow—as a part of the Black Wizards’ plot to destroy all the assorted kings of the islands who may doubtlessly develop into the High King, though nobody explains why this is able to be the case.

Apparently, non-High King-ship is nonhereditary, so Tristan and his thief pal/canine grasp Daryth should journey to the capital with an asshole named Pontswain, who feels that he could be a greater king as a result of he has administrative expertise. Meanwhile, Tristan’s adoptive sister and love curiosity Robyn is hanging out with druids. The halfling Pawldo and the uber-annoying, Orko-esque faerie dragon Flit additionally present up.

I may go beat by beat of what occurs in Black Wizards, however like these three Black Wizards who do nothing however die, nearly nothing of consequence occurs within the e book. Or relatively, nothing with any penalties occurs. Tristan’s boat sinks on the best way to the capital—however a large citadel erupts out of the ocean and saves him. Tristan will get captured time and again by the High King’s forces—however fortunately Pawldo reveals up out of nowhere and later Daryth finds magical thief gloves that permit him to flee any bonds. Robyn loses her magic workers—however a few pages earlier, somebody had already given her a magic wand. Similarly, it looks as if Tristan loses the legendary sword of the legendary king Cymrych Hugh a number of hundred instances over the course of the novel, solely to seek out it in the identical chapter. Even when the evil cleric Hobarth conquers a bevy of noble druids, he simply… stops there, nearly utterly disappearing from the e book.

Honestly, though Tristan and Robyn finally destroy an enormous joint military of ogres, wizards, zombie­s, evil dwarves, and Saguahin, nothing anybody does in Black Wizards seems like an achievement. Author Douglas Niles spends lots of the novel speaking about how large and insurmountable the forces of Bhaal are—identical to he spent a lot of Darkwalker speaking about how large and insurmountable the forces of the Beast have been—they usually homicide a zillion folks and defeat all of the forces of fine and in addition there’s a Robin Hood-type king who seems to be an fool and will get much more folks killed till Tristan takes cost and all the things simply finally ends up… fantastic? Tristan and his friends don’t actually do a lot right here both; as a substitute, there’s an earthquake ex machina out of nowhere that kills many of the dangerous guys, apparently despatched by the great goddess Chauntea, who apparently couldn’t be bothered beforehand.

I may go over all of the characters and plot parts and conflicts which might be launched after which disappear nearly instantly, however why would I try this to you (or to me)? Suffice it to say, on the finish of the e book Tristan Kendrick is the king of the Moonshae isles (not that we’ve met anybody from any of the opposite islands) and the Saguahin have a distinct zombie military than the zombie military they’d previous to the earthquake. Hell, Tristan can’t even be trusted to assert the throne himself; as a substitute, the goddess tosses a legendary crown out of the water at his toes.

Like Darkwalker on Moonshae, Black Wizards is healthier written than a number of the Dungeons & Dragons novels I’ve revisited on a technical degree, but it surely doesn’t have the main target of the primary novel. As a consequence, it made me concurrently indignant and sleepy, which is type of a powerful feat, however not one I really feel curious about rewarding. So Black Wizards rolls a 4 on its 1d20, a degree lower than Darkwalker on Moonshae, but it surely ought to really feel fortunate I didn’t make it roll with drawback. Seriously, this e book made me very, very grumpy.

As a consequence, I’m going to deal with myself—the following installment of Dungeons & Dragons & Novels will likely be Homeland, the primary e book in R.A. Salvatore’s Dark Elf Trilogy, in regards to the early lifetime of Drizzt Do’Urden within the unapologetically evil Drow metropolis of Menzoberranzan. I bear in mind outright loving this e book as a younger teen to a level way over any of the opposite D&D books I learn again then (together with the opposite two volumes of the identical trilogy), so I’m genuinely excited to reread it. Am I setting myself up for disappointment? Could be! But I’m fairly assured I gained’t should make a pot of espresso to get by way of it.

Assorted Musings:

• I’ve no musings about this e book.
• Okay, one musing: One of the Black Wizards is feminine, and all she desires to do is have intercourse with one other of the Black Wizards. When that specific wizard decides he desires to fuck Robyn as a substitute, she decides to kill Robyn. Robyn kills her. It’s very dangerous.
• As a present for enduring this crap with me, I’ll share with you this excellent sentence from the D&D fan wiki abstract of the novel with none context in any respect: “He appears in the guise of a helpless amnesiac feral druid.”

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