Jean-Luc Picard enjoys the finer issues in life as an enlightened man of the twenty fourth century. A little bit flute music. A little bit tea that tastes like cleaning soap. Some good wine. He’s allowed an indulgence in spite of everything he’s been by means of. But I’m… involved at a few of his new meal choices coming into Star Trek: Picard season 2.

As we await Patrick Stewart’s return for spherical two in Star Trek: Picard, showrunner Terry Matalas has been sharing cryptic on-set footage from filming on social media. No huge reveals in sight, however a latest snap of an LCARS menu for what Matalas calls ‘Picard’s Replicator’, particularly, has been unable to go away my head for the previous few days. Despite Matalas saying it’s Picard’s replicator, that is presumably the replicator aboard La Sirena, as a result of a number of objects match for meals objects talked about aboard the ship in season one. But the place this replicator is isn’t any of my concern. It’s what’s on that menu.

It’s an eclectic combine—after all, a starship’s replicator can recreate hundreds of thousands of things of foods and drinks from the cultures of the Federation, so that is clearly not the top sum of all the things in its digitized kitchen. But all of the choices right here, presumably from an inventory of recently-replicated objects, a minimum of converse to somebody like Picard’s well-to-do French upbringing. There’s a number of filets of contemporary fish, diced tomatoes and some fingerlings, the flexibility to only replicate three entire cloves of garlic (presumably Jean-Luc Picard subscribes to the common idea as there by no means being such a factor as an excessive amount of garlic for a dish). The peppermint ice cream is a pleasant little contact, one thing candy and indulgent however not too indulgent, particularly for somebody as reserved as Picard—he can leave the sundaes to Deanna.

But then there’s the French Fries. Fries are a staple of Starfleet replicators—we see Number One order some along with her burger in Star Trek: Discovery season two, and even earlier than replicators had been customary expertise aboard ships, the Enterprise’s galley served meals with fries as a facet. If you are taking a better have a look at the entry on Picard’s replicator nonetheless, you see {that a} serving of fries provides you 400 grams of fried potato. Jean-Luc, my good friend, I do know you simply received that robotic physique and need to take a look at it out, however that’s too many fries for a person in his nineties! That’s twice the quantity of fingerling potatoes you’d get requesting from this replicator. You’d get as many diced tomatoes, a considerably more healthy possibility.

Or is it? We’ve identified from previous asides in Star Trek that replicators, or a minimum of particularly Starfleet replicators, have modified dietary content material in order that whereas crewmembers can order what would usually be seen as unhealthy meals, they’re nonetheless comparatively nutritionally balanced for bodily match folks aboard navy and scientific exploration vessels. Deanna maligned that her aforementioned replicated sundaes by no means fairly hit the identical as an actual one aboard the Enterprise-D, as a result of the replicator modified them for dietary worth. In Picard’s first season, Doctor Jurati tried to induce vomiting to eject a Romulan tracker by consuming two slices of cake the dimensions of her head from La Sirena’s replicator, hoping the sugar and fats would do the job—however even when they weren’t as unhealthy as the actual factor, two slices of cake that huge would get anybody feeling queasy afterwards regardless. So almost a pound of french fries might be not going to do Picard too good, even when they’re not ‘real’ fries.

Clearly, all my immersion going into Star Trek: Picard season two has been basically compromised by this grievous error on the a part of Matalas, ViacomCBS, Alex Kurtzman, and plenty of set designers and artists. How can I get pleasure from Picard and Q if I simply know a ginormous pile of replicated fries is awaiting Picard when he’s accomplished? I’m prepared to droop disbelief for lots of issues in Star Trek—floating area heads, theoretical FTL journey turning you right into a sexy lizard, you could educate a Ferengi the idea of bunting. But this dietary nightmare for a Trek legend is only a step too far, and I can’t wait to be livid as to how Star Trek: Picard season two grapples with this horrible mistake, as a result of there nearly definitely received’t be something extra necessary to take care of.

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