I Did Not Care for Mystery Men Then, And Now I Hate It

Rewatching the 1999 superhero comedy Mystery Men was not a great resolution. But it was a resolution I made for particular, good causes. I noticed Mystery Men when it was initially launched and didn’t fairly look after it. Didn’t hate it, simply didn’t look after it. But, as everyone knows, within the years since its launch, the pillars that made Mystery Men distinctive on the time have change into rather more mainstream.

For starters, it was a superhero comedian e-book adaptation—nonetheless considerably novel on the time. See any of these prior to now 15 years? Plus it was a comedic tackle that materials, one thing you’d think about audiences a decade faraway from Tim Burton’s Batman, and two years away from Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man, may not have totally appreciated after watching extra daring 1999 fare like The Matrix or the South Park musical. Spoofs work greatest once they’re spoofing one thing extremely popular. At this time, comedian e-book movies have been nowhere close to that standard. So with the movie having simply popped up on Netflix, I figured possibly my regular weight-reduction plan of spoof motion pictures and superhero epics within the final 20 years would possibly assist shine this movie in a distinct, higher gentle. It didn’t. Like, in any respect. In truth, it in all probability made it worse.

Based on a Dark Horse comedian created by Bob Burden, Mystery Men is directed by Kinka Usher (who had by no means made a function earlier than and hasn’t made one since) from a script by Neil Cuthbert (author of Disney’s Hocus Pocus in addition to the 2007 Eddie Murphy movie The Adventures of Pluto Nash, which was his final screenplay). It stars Ben Stiller, William H. Macy, and Hank Azaria as wannabe superheroes named Mr. Furious, the Shoveler, and the Blue Raja. The trio lives in Champion City, which was seemingly designed to look very very like Tim Burton’s Gotham City, and is especially policed by a hero named Captain Amazing (Greg Kinnear). Amazing is so good at his job that there are not any villains left, so he nefariously works to interrupt out one among his best foes, Casanova Frankenstein (Geoffrey Rush), to drum up extra private publicity. Casanova is having none of that—and betrays and captures Amazing, leaving the trio as the one individuals who can save Champion City from the villain’s evil plan.

Mystery Men begins with that primary conceit and thru Captain Amazing’s antics appears to counsel it’s going to dissect some notion of superhero movie star, the dichotomy inside the heroes, and extra. Very rapidly although, it’s very obvious the movie has completely no intention of any of that. In truth, it has no concept what it needs to be in any respect. Obviously, it’s not purported to be severe, however the characters are severe, fully oblivious to the silliness of this world. Certainly, there are purported to be jokes, however the humor is sort of nonexistent. And clearly, we’re meant to assume this can be a world the place folks have superpowers, however that’s by no means really made clear. The entire factor appears like a bunch of extremely proficient actors confirmed up on set as a result of they heard different extremely proficient actors have been going to be there, placed on some ridiculous costumes, acquired no route, and simply began saying strains.

Every aspect of the movie, from its characters to its plot, is borderline embarrassing. Azaria’s character, the Blue Raja, is an American pretending to be British however he’s dressed as if he’s Indian. If this sounds problematic, that’s as a result of it’s. So a lot in order that the movie spends a number of scenes with Azaria—who additionally voiced Apu on The Simpsons till very just lately—actually simply speaking about this being problematic. Rush’s Casanova Frankenstein tells Captain Amazing about his plan to kill him the next evening at midnight, just for the movie to then stuff in at the very least per week or two of plot into the meantime, solely to circle again and fake like all the pieces continues to be on that timeline. Tom Waits performs a pacifist inventor who lives in an deserted amusement park for completely no purpose in any respect. The Smash Mouth music “All Star,” one of many issues the movie is greatest identified for, is performed twice—as soon as over the ultimate scene into the tip credit, which is smart, and one other time over what appears like one thing gearing as much as be coaching montage however finally ends up being three characters working throughout sizzling coals over six fast cuts, earlier than the music fades out. I may in all probability spend one other 2,000-3,000 phrases working down each flaw the film has, which regularly stack on prime of one another to succeed in new heights of awfulness.

Watching the movie you really query whether or not Usher had any concept what he was making an attempt to do. Did he give these actors route? Was there a primary understanding of this world? The film reaches what it looks like goes to be a pure climax—with the crew infiltrating the villain’s occasion—just for them to go away, regroup, and are available again in the identical evening, all of which contains the movie’s last 45 minutes. Yes, simply once you assume Mystery Men goes to be over, there are nonetheless 45 minutes left. Plenty of time to drive in a romance (because of a waitress character performed by Claire Forlani) and to create some bizarre sexual rigidity between Azaria’s character and his mom.

The few instances Mystery Men virtually works is when it facilities on the Spleen, a hero performed by Paul Reubens. The Spleen farts—that’s his superpower—however Reubens appears to be the one member of the solid appearing like somebody who is aware of he’s in a ridiculous film. Maybe he acquired the be aware this was purported to be a comedy whereas nobody else did. One factor is for certain, Ben Stiller didn’t get the memo. Coming off There’s Something About Mary, everybody beloved the awkward, lovable Ben Stiller. And but, that love fully vanishes because of a efficiency that’s offended and unlikeable, extra akin to his earlier roles in Happy Gilmore or Heavyweights. (Of be aware, Stiller adopted Mystery Men with Zoolander and Meet the Parents—which, looking back, virtually really feel like apologies.) Having Stiller’s imply, off-putting hero on the middle of the film provides the entire thing an unwelcome edge which, in flip, makes performances by Macy in addition to late additions to the superhero crew performed by Janeane Garofalo and Kel Mitchell really feel much more misplaced.

I’ve to cease. Writing unhealthy issues about Mystery Men is simply too simple, which I want that wasn’t the case. I want watching the movie once more revealed one thing new, one thing attention-grabbing, one thing enjoyable. But it didn’t. Instead, I used to be left enraged that this movie, with this stage of expertise, turned out as poorly because it did.

Mystery Men is now on Netflix.

Assorted Musings:

• At Casanova Frankenstein’s huge villainous bash, he brings collectively “evil” stereotypes like mobsters and kabuki assassins. It’s all horrible. But there’s additionally a gaggle of frat boys and the chief is performed by none different than director Michael Bay. That specific casting could be very, very bizarre, but in addition sort of excellent.
• For half the film, Usher exhibits his dramatic scenes with the characters straight addressing the digicam, a route that later within the film will get deserted. Motives for this alternative are unclear. It’s very awkward and borderline uncomfortable.
• I believe it says all the pieces that must be mentioned about Mystery Men that when the movie ends and “All Star” comes again, that’s an enchancment. That music, tacky and unhealthy as it might be, is all the pieces Mystery Men isn’t. Funny, enjoyable, and memorable, even if you happen to don’t prefer it.

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