Happy Birthday to Jesus’ Twin Sister, the Vampire Camilla

It’s the large day, of us: a really particular birthday to one of the vital non secular figures on the planet, the kid of the Virgin Mary. We’re speaking about the vampire Camilla, in fact. Who else may it have been?

The fantastic story of Jesus’ twin—who as soon as once more I can’t stress sufficient is a vampire—is available in a bonkers episode of the enduring 1978 episode of Lupin III, referred to as “Lupin Has Become a Vampire” in Japan, however extremely localized as “But Your Brother Was Such a Nice Guy” in English. Killer title. Already firing on all cylinders.

The thirty fourth episode of Lupin III: Part 2, the loopy case of Camilla begins when archaeologists uncover a 2000 yr outdated coffin housing a mysteriously-still-living-woman, clutching an historical statue of the Virgin Mary. Naturally, as a result of he normally offers with archaeological discoveries and their intersection with probably theological implications, Inspector Zenigata is introduced in… or actually, he’s there as a result of he’s sure Lupin goes to need to steal the statue. He’s proper, in fact, as a result of that is an episode of Lupin III and likewise the mixture of historical treasure and a stunning lady is a situation Lupin may by no means resist.

When Lupin does make his transfer to swipe the statue, he encounters Camilla alongside the best way, and after taking her to the village the place her tomb was uncovered, she makes her transfer—seducing Lupin earlier than biting him, declaring him now beneath her management. A variety of nonsense later as Lupin’s friends Goemon, Jigen, and Fujiko all try to avoid wasting their now-vampiric pal leads us to the spotlight of the entire thing: Camilla revealing her backstory.

Turns out Jesus was a twin, and Camilla was born on the identical fabled night time in Bethlehem. But as a result of she was born a vampire, full with little fangs, her mother and father have been horrified that such a depraved being might be born alongside the son of God. Joseph deserted Camilla and left with the new child Jesus, however Camilla survived, raised by packs of bats and wolves. When she grew up she sought vengeance towards her far more well-known brother, stealing the statue and whisking her technique to Japan for everlasting relaxation—Jesus even apparently adopted her there, and died in the identical village. All Camilla then needed to do was wait, till she may use the statue of her mom to meet a sacrificial prophecy, giving her the facility to rule the world.

Of course, Lupin can go just a little loopy generally but it surely’s not “alternate reality where Jesus’ vampiric twin sister rules the world” loopy. Goemon and Jigen rescue Lupin (who it seems was by no means really actually a vampire, and simply taking part in alongside to get on the statue) and Fujiko, who was going to be Camilla’s sacrifice, and the gang makes their escape, till they’re surrounded by Camilla and her vampire servants. At which level Goemon promptly owns them by tying his sword and scabbard right into a cross form, throwing it at Camilla to pin her to the bottom as a bolt of lightning strikes the sword-cross, incinerating the vampires.

Absolutely superb. The actual story of a Christmas Miracle. ‘Tis the season, everyone, make sure you left out cookies for Santa and some garlic to protect you from creatures of the night.

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