Elon Musk Is Correct, I Am Specifically Attacking Space Itself and Not Just His Mars Colonization Project

Billionaire Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk has huge plans to desert our endangered species and colonize Mars, underneath the idea that a planet whose situations are inimically hostile to human life will make us much less endangered. Fair sufficient.

To this finish, SpaceX is creating the Starship, a prototype rocket that might in the future ferry colonists from our doomed world to the Red Planet and is at present slated for its first orbital flight as quickly because the next few months. Not everybody is especially on board with Musk’s Mars ambitions, citing all the pieces from the colonial perspective that appears inherent to the concept as to whether any form of large-scale settlement of the planet is even doable, not less than within the foreseeable future.

Musk has some ideas on this. In a strange, poem-like tweet on Monday, the billionaire wrote that maybe these critics simply don’t see that “space represents hope for so many people.”

In Musk’s telling, these undefined critics are attacking the ephemeral idea of house (referring, presumably, to the interstellar void of the cosmos moderately than the spatial dimensions that comprise our actuality). In this, he’s broadly flawed, as critics of Musk principally fall into two camps: these attacking the systemic inequality that permits him to amass billions for his planetary escape pod whereas youngsters starve elsewhere, and these attacking his erratic persona within the hopes Tesla inventory will fall.

However, he’s not fully flawed. I’m attacking house. I cannot relaxation till house is aware of precisely what sort of piece of shit it’s. Give me a military, my compatriots, and I’d invade house and raze it to the bottom.

Why do I hate house so? Let me rely the methods:

• It is very cold.
• If you die in house, over a really lengthy time period the entire matter inside you slowly breaks aside and spreads out actual far, turning into more room. Space thinks it’s higher than us.
• Weightlessness is briefly cool till you spill or vomit something in anyway, which you’ll, consistently.
• Also, the food sucks.
• Space is all of the matter that couldn’t get its shit collectively after the Big Bang.
• While backwards time journey appears to be not possible, superluminal house journey does enable for forwards time journey, which implies it’s doable a future Elon Musk may return from house on a periodic foundation to torment your youngsters, and your youngsters’s youngsters, and your grandchildren’s youngsters, and so forth. This is house’s fault.
• In the above state of affairs, Musk may additionally get into politics and it’s not clear what which means for time period limits.
• My colleague Whitney Kimball factors out that from a grammatical perspective, hate is a verb, and house is a non-entity and due to this fact can’t be a direct object, thus it’s incorrect to say you hate house. While this argument appears ludicrous to me, contemplating it in any respect was in and of itself extraordinarily annoying.
• Star Trek: Enterprise was set in house.
• My dad mentioned he was simply going out for cigarettes and can be again in a couple of minutes, however it seems he was secretly the captain of the Event Horizon, which went into house and by no means got here again.
• You can’t truly go into house. You convey a tiny, rocket-powered can or impermeable go well with stuffed with components of Earth with you, and keep inside it, otherwise you die.
• Space is a assemble of our restricted notion. In actuality, house is fabricated from tiny little basic particles referred to as spacinos, that are sentient, predatory, and hate us. Read extra about this principle on my weblog.
• It comprises the Moon, which I additionally hate.

In conclusion, house has social, financial, and political results. Its chief export is lethal meteorites and high-energy gamma-ray bursts. Fuck house.