The titular canine in Clifford the Big Red Dog seems cute, I’ll offer you that. The digital results, at instances, appear fairly spectacular. But I don’t need to see an enormous canine endangering the lives of everybody round him—or trying to eat another person’s pet.

Paramount Pictures has launched the primary trailer for Clifford the Big Red Dog, a film that appears designed for teenagers who appreciated The Secret Life of Pets, with just a few Alvin and the Chipmunks shenanigans thrown in there for good measure. The film feels prefer it was written by a pc algorithm attempting to gauge what “kids these days (circa 2010)” could be into. At least that’s the impression I garnered from the trailer. Down-on-her-luck “not like other girls” woman with magic tears who’s additionally an orphan? Check. Cute digitally created animal who evokes winces and “awws” in equal measure? Check-check. Hapless paternal determine we will toss into partitions with out repercussions? That’s a check-a-roonie proper there. Oh, and don’t overlook the bizarre side-plot a couple of villainous genetics lab as a result of all these motion pictures want a type of. What the algorithm didn’t anticipate, although, was watching an enormous canine attempt to eat one other canine. What the heck, Clifford? I do know you’re a pet however I additionally prefer to assume you’re not a murdering one.

It’s no shock the film trailer feels prefer it was engineered in the identical lab that, presumably, goes to aim to dognap Clifford in some unspecified time in the future. A live-action and CGI hybrid adaptation of Clifford the Big Red Dog has been within the works since 2012, beginning as a Universal Pictures and Illumination Entertainment venture earlier than switching fingers (and filmmakers) just a few instances, touchdown at Paramount Pictures in 2016 with one other new director and a rewritten script. Given it’s been virtually a decade within the works, it’s no shock it appears like a relic of children motion pictures previous. But I’m a guardian now, and kids love watching foolish stuff like this so I’m going to need to get used to it in some unspecified time in the future. If I’ve to undergo by it, so do all of you.

Clifford the Big Red Dog arrives in theaters on September 17.

Wondering the place our RSS feed went? You can decide the brand new up one right here.