Give Me Control of the Weather Weapons, You Cowards

It has come to Earther’s consideration that the U.S. apparently has climate weapons. Noted chumbox fanatic Alex Jones spent a latest episode of his eponymous present shedding mild on the U.S.’s lengthy historical past of growing and utilizing them.

Here’s the transcript through Media Matters:

“So, they just think you’re stupid and they don’t want you knowing they are doing all of this, and they’ve got carbon systems they are putting in, that big, huge geoengineering systems, terraforming systems that are sucking carbon dioxide out of the air when it’s a trace gas that we need, and was hundreds of times higher millions of years ago than it is now. That’s why plants and animals were so much bigger and healthier. But we’ve adapted to live in less air. This is insane, ladies and gentlemen.”

“So the question is, did they use weather weapons to cause the tornadoes?” Jones, a person recognized for “just asking questions,” mused later in this system. “That’s a legitimate question to ask.”

The factor is, Jones clearly answered that query within the first a part of the section. How may the federal government forecast lethal tornadoes with such accuracy if it didn’t know they had been coming? Makes you assume. Other recognized patriots resembling Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene have additionally make clear these climate weapons used for violent ends.

There is just one reply to what to do subsequent. Joe Biden should give me the climate weapons, efficient instantly.

Why ought to I be trusted with the chemtrail launchers and area lasers? An wonderful query, one I believe my physique of labor at this very website solutions. But must you not wish to learn 1,000-plus tales, the reply, in brief, is that I perceive the threats these “huge geoengineering systems” pose—and find out how to use them for good.

If Jones and his ilk are to be believed (they don’t seem to be), climate weapons have been used far too typically to destroy individuals’s lives. But why not use the area lasers for good? What if as an alternative of igniting fires to burn down cities or clear land for high-speed rail, we used them to create backfires to defend cities? (And hey, if it carves a path large sufficient for high-speed rail, properly, that’s a facet profit.)

Instead of filling the ambiance with poisonous chemtrails to spawn tornadoes, what if we used them to interrupt up storms. “Former” President Donald Trump as soon as reportedly requested about nuking a hurricane. But there’s no must depend on such unproven expertise once we apparently have the climate weapons already there to fire up storms. Just set these hurricane juice cannons to reverse. Boom, downside solved.

If this fearsome show of logic is just not sufficient to persuade Biden that I need to have my finger on the climate weapon button, permit me to supply one other, purely political play. “Climate” “advocates” have repeatedly famous the president has a spotty report on addressing “climate change,” what with the oil leasing and whatnot. Some could wish to see Biden signal a Build Back Better invoice with robust local weather provisions. But ready on Sen. Joe Manchin to ship victory is a dangerous proposition.

A extra simple path for Biden to enhance his standing with environmentalists and choose up these sagging approval rankings is handing over what I can solely assume is a nuclear football-like suite of controls for the climate to me. I’m dedicated to ending local weather change, together with the usage of chemtrails, terraforming, and different means on the authorities’s disposal.

Surely Jones and Taylor Greene wish to strip President Joe Biden and his evil cabal of their climate weapons, terraforming powers, and so forth. But giving the facility to zap the climate at a second’s discover to the suitable particular person would make a lot extra sense. I do know I’m that particular person. As somebody who isn’t a politician, I’ve no horse within the recreation. While I do nonetheless have pupil mortgage debt, I’m in any other case freed from the affect of particular pursuits and the Rothschild household. My solely objective is fixing the climate for all. We could have “adapted to live in less air,” however I promise I’ll use the climate weapons to right-size the quantity of air on Earth and guarantee huge and wholesome animals.

Give me the climate weapons.